the end of the world as we know it.

[katster]

I just finished the last book of the Left Behind series.

The verdict? Sadly disappointing. There's *so* much that can be done around the theme of "trouble in paradise", and... well, Jerry Jenkins is not the guy to do it. It was okay, but it mostly only covers the first hundred years of the Millennium, and meh.

Just disappointing.

Also, any book that has the following quote in the introduction:

It should be plain from our treatment of this great future period that we are the opposites of anti-Semites. Indeed, we hold that the entire Bible contains God's love letter to and plan for His chosen people. If Israel had no place within the future Kingdom of God, we could no longer trust the Bible.

What you might not know by reading simply this extracted quote is that the only way a Jew was getting into the Millennial Kingdom was to confess that Jesus is Lord. That doesn't quite strike me as the opposite of anti-Semites.

Also, my favorite moment in the book -- you shall know the bad guys by their clothes:

But as he looked closely at the pinstripes, he noticed they were made up of a nearly microscopic pattern. Tiny letters. Row after row of LTO, LTO, LTO. The letters ran together, forming the distinctive pattern LTOLTOLTOLTOLTOLTOLTOLTO that from even two feet away just looked like normal striping.

The three were trading contact information when it struck Kenny that maybe it wasn't LTO at all. Maybe it was TOL.

Yes. The bad guys will make themselves obvious by their pinstripes. ;) (TOL is the acronym for The Other Light, the group of folks who have decided to worship Satan instead of God. Why they would do this isn't exactly made clear in the book -- well, other than the prophecy says it has to happen that way. We can't argue with prophecy, can we?)

Anyway, the story was boring, the conflict lacking, and Jenkins is so afraid of blasphemy, he makes his God into a robot that can only quote the Bible. :P And that's all she said.

Meh.

Comments

[katster.livejournal.com]

*grin* Yeah, Fred's been doing wonderful work. I never miss a Left Behind Friday if I can help it.

No, I actually stumbled across the series back when it started, and I read it through to the bitter end because (a) know your enemy, and (b) I've got family who believe every word in those books, and it gives us something else to talk about than the endless questions as to whether my boyfriend is a Christian or where I'm going to church these days.

That said, I've got a certain soft spot for bad Revelation fanfic. (I collect the stuff. Left Behind is actually rather good in comparison to, say, 666 by Salem Kirban.) But I stumbled across the book in a Christian bookstore when I was rather obsessed with Revelation and end times theology, and I've just kept reading them.

That said, this was the one I was looking forward to. There's not much written in the Millennial Kingdom, but there's so much that can be done with the whole theme. Why would somebody rebel when the Power that Is is accessible to everybody? How does one rebel in the benevolent dictatorship? (And yeah, I know, humans are base creatures, but in storytelling, that's a bit of a cop. Tell me why they're rebelling. Make it make *sense*, for crying out loud.)

Also, in LB, the "locusts that look like men" are there. They're in book 5, and yes, they actually *are* locusts that look like men. I guess I'll give Jenkins some credit for being absolutely literal in that place. But the beast? Nope. Not that I remember.

Besides, the other good thing about reading them is to remember that yes, I can write better than Jerry Jenkins.

-kat

[underpope.livejournal.com]

I've got a certain soft spot for bad Revelation fanfic

That's a phrase you don't see every day. It made me laugh out loud, drawing curious looks from my cats.

Also, in LB, the "locusts that look like men" are there. They're in book 5, and yes, they actually *are* locusts that look like men. I guess I'll give Jenkins some credit for being absolutely literal in that place.

*grin* Okay. As I said, I couldn't make it through book one.

Besides, the other good thing about reading them is to remember that yes, I can write better than Jerry Jenkins.

I've got a couple of books in my library that serve exactly that purpose.

(And yeah, I know, humans are base creatures, but in storytelling, that's a bit of a cop. Tell me why they're rebelling. Make it make *sense*, for crying out loud.)

I don't get the impression that L&J are into good storytelling so much as they are in creating a compelling, almost fear-mongering theology.

[lirazel.livejournal.com]

Oh. My. God. (and I say that with all reverence) I had almost managed to completely forget the existance of Salem Kirban.

I am reminded of a joke.

A Christian dies, and, just as advertised, goes to heaven. An angel is showing her around, and the place is wonderful. Parties everywhere, the glory of God manifesting all over the place, everyone suddenly able to sing on key, etc., etc.

And she comes to a wall. A wall that's infinitely high and low, but that appears to bound a large square area. She puts her ear against it, and hears that there are souls in there, enjoying themselves just as long and loud as the souls outside. She looks at the angel, who shrugs and says,

"That's the Holiness Temple of Christ in the Bible of Prophecy (Reformed). They think they're the only ones here."