There but for the grace of God...

[katster]

Riding the bus home from downtown today. We pulled up at the corner of Dana St. and Durant Ave., and there was a lady sitting on the bus bench. It became soon apparant that this wasn't your typical old lady, I mean at first, she had red cheeks, but lots of people have rosy cheeks.

And then she screamed, "FUCKERS" and slapped her face.

This display went on for the two minutes the bus was pulled up. She must have hit herself a good seven or eight times in that time span.

The bus driver was laughing his head off. I was thinking, "There, but for the grace of God, go I."

Mental illness is nasty. And while this lady was the extreme example, there's those of us who wonder what good we're going to be to society, after all the accomodations are stripped away, and sanity hanging on a regular supply of prescription drugs. People like me.

For those of you not in the know, I'm manic-depressive. And while I've done a ton despite the illness, it sneaks up on me. And it makes me wonder if my demons are that lady's demons, or will be those lady's demons. I wonder if I'll chase away everybody who loves me, and be left to sit on a bus bench dealing with my internal demons while people laugh at me.

And it brings me near tears.

Comments

[serendipity.livejournal.com]

I think the bus driver who laughed is the one to *really* worry about. :(