confuzzled

[katster]

I don't know how I feel right now. Mainly all conflicted.

I'm not sure how to respond to this email, and I'm not sure what to do.

I'm not sure about a lot of things, and hopefully I can shove all my thoughts aside until the weekend, but I doubt that's doable.

my head feels like it's about to implode, so...

Comments

[whitestar2.livejournal.com]

Nice to know I'm welcome. :)

As for the friends list... I noticed. I kept noticing throughout all the changes I was making to it lately. And even though I was reading your LJ once in a while... just like I felt I couldn't stand to have some of the people on my friends page before I'm ready, not because I didn't want to hear what they have to say, but because it would draw me back before I'm ready, I never added you back because I feared it might push me to say things hastily before I've had the time to think about it enough. I really needed to feel it came from the right place in me.

I'm anal like that, sometimes. ;)

And that's why the other letter is so hard to write. I know it's needed. And I want to write it. I just can't think how, and I can't help wonder if I'm doing it, not because I'm ready to, but because I want to be nice and even with both of you. And it isn't fair toward him.

You know what, I'll just be quiet now. Experience has taught me that the less I say, the better.