*tick* *tick* *BOOM*

[katster]

Ever have one of those days where you just feel like you're trying to balance on a slope that is eroding beneath your feet...and you're carrying a bottle of nitroglycerin? Or that you've been asked to hang onto a primed grenade?

Those are the *tick* *tick* *BOOM* feelings. Your world is falling apart again, and there's nothing you can fscking do about it. You deal with it, and hope you can find a way to put the pieces together.

It was one of those days where the bright spots were few and far between. I have this suspicion my demons masquerade as my typists when I'm feeling fine, because I got no work done today on the major project. And as the demons are too busy tormenting me to get any work done,

Got a couple minor warm fuzzies today, but it wasn't enough to fight back the darkness, and that is what I'm worried about.

Because it's only a matter of time before the grenade goes off, only a matter of time before I lose my footing and the nitroglycerin explodes. I'm trying to avoid it for as long as possible, but it may be unavoidable.

Comments

[kuangning]

One of the things I've come to believe in very firmly over the years is that the darkness is always there. Some days, that's a very discouraging thought. Other days... well, other days, I remember that we're supposed to carry the light with us, into the darkness.

I know that sometimes it feels like our own little flames don't make enough of a difference... we look, and all we notice is the dark and the cold around us, and it's such an impossible task! And some of us shine brighter, are warmer, than others, anyway. And some of us extinguish the flames in our heart before we've begun to make a difference, and some prefer the darkness anyway.

What I can say, now that I've begun to know you a little, is that you make more of a difference than you know. You're also less alone than you may feel right now. You are loved, you are valued highly... and I can't begin to imagine the damage that would have to be done, to change that.

Hang in there.

*wraptight*

[cygnata.livejournal.com]

Hang in there, kats. I promised I'd be there if you fell, and I am, and will be. I... I wish I was better at helping people online, so I knew what exactly to say to help... I wish you were here in person so I could give you a real hug. You sound as if you need one badly.

Like aiobheil said, you're not alone, kats. You've got people who care, and we're here if and when you need us. I've lit an extra candle just for you. As long as you have people who care, the darkness can never completely surround you.

I'm praying for you... I hope you feel better soon.