oy vey

[katster]

today, on the whole, was a very bad day.

Jill had attitude problems towards cooking dinner. Of course, she left to go to the store to get some cooking ingredients, leaving me at home with Mom. by the time she got back, it'd turned into her being upset because I have been failing to clean my room. And of course, she has to rant and rave at everybody, and then purposely rile us, especially laying into me. And much yelling commences.

And I nearly walked to the police station to see what it would take to get me committed. Because mebbe that's the best idea right now.

Anyway, I'm going to try to sleep. And hopefully tomorrow my therapist will call.

Comments

[dandelion-diva.livejournal.com]

*****HUG*****

I'm sorry, hon. Sending lots of good thoughts and vibes toward things getting better.

Gessi

[rickvs.livejournal.com]

*comfort*. It seems that information about self-commitment would be useful to have, whether you make use of it or not.

[shadur.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Sit down for a little story.

[nekoneko.livejournal.com]

This one is called How I Got Committed by Neko-Neko.

I told my therapist that I was feeling very suicidal. I even went so far as to tell her the many reasons why, but also the many things that keep me from doing it.

She had me in the mental ward in less than two hours. o.O I had to stay there for about two weeks (although they told me it'd only be a couple of days... liars.)

If your local mental ward is anything like mine, you do NOT want to go. You're basically stripped of any rights you have outside the hospital. They decide what and when you eat, when you go to group therapies, when you go to bed (10:00 pm) and when you wake up (6:30), when you can have visitors, etc. Also, many mental wards do strip searches when you're admitted. It's very embarrassing. And I don't know if this is standard practice, but if you're caught trying to hurt yourself while admitted, they take your clothes away, put you in nurses' scrubs and move you to a single room with a camera. Imagine trying to sleep with a camera aimed right at you. Any questions? ^^; I know it's tough with your mom and all, but I would put more efforts into moving out on your own rather than being hospitalized. If you can't afford a place of your own, see if you can search the want ads for a roommate or two.

[kuangning]

Ahh, hon. *hugs.* I'm sorry.

The hospital's a last-resort option, it really is. But it is an option. Yes, they will control everything. Yes, you'll likely be searched when you enter, depending on the place. But while you're there, they will likely readjust your meds, they will make sure you take your meds, and you will not be screamed at or driven over the edge. For all that the experience sucks and I don't recommend it if you have any viable option? The one thing it's designed to do well is sever you from the outside long enough to let you focus on yourself for awhile. I think you could really and truly use that, and if you absolutely can't find any other way to get it ... yeah.

[katmoonshaker.livejournal.com]

The hardest part in a dysfunctional family is not condoning bad behavior. Why is it her job to supervise you cleaning your room? Maybe not going to the police station but perhaps walking out before the yelling starts and saying "Excuse me, but I'm to the point where I'm going to start yelling at you and that wouldn't be fair to anyone. I need a time out." and walking out. I used to do that with my kids. Freaked the shit out of them. Weird thing is that when I'd come back 5-10 minutes later, they'd be behaving better. Of course, I'd just be outside on the carport. You could take a nice calming walk. Behavior mod. When they come after you, you turn your back, "I'm sorry, but I can't condone that behavior (even state what it is specifically). When you can speak to me in a calm manner, then I will talk to you." But then, I'm the woman who told my Gran Alice Bitch Queen of the Universe that when she could speak to me politely on the phone, then I would be glad to talk to her... and hung up. She never spoke to me again and left instructions that I not be told when she died. ::shrug:: Which was okay... I don't condone bad behavior in anyone and the women couldn't buy my love... she had it already... just wouldn't be polite to me.

eeep.

[glinda-w.livejournal.com]

and *sympathetic hugs*

If your therapist *doesn't* call, call hir, say "I'm really really in crisis and considering committing myself if I can't get to talk to you" - would that help?

(bt, dt, different reasons... am leaving my haven-for-a-few-days in Hansville early and going back to Seattle's Helltown^WBelltown just for my therapy appt. tomorrow...)