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katsternot all together. it doesn't really matter.
called the cops on an asshole tonight. I mean, if you're going to scream up at an apartment, I hope you'd have a broader vocabulary than 'f*ck', 'b*tch','kill', and 'm*th*rf*ck*r'. It's doubly best if you don't spend fifteen minutes screaming 'f*ck you' at the cops when they've got you surrounded. I was impresssed at Oakland PD's response time and the show of overwhelming force (*five* squad cars) helped reassure us they were on it. Granted, apperantly, somebody called in and said he had a gun or something, so...
In other news, Luns is safely off to Toronto, and the untold billions that went into extending BART to San Francisco International were *gasp* actually spent well. Luns, who hates all public transit in the bay area with the lone exception of MUNI, SF's bus/tram/train system (he's a Toronto boy, and is spoiled by the TTC), was greatly impressed with both the BART extension and the people mover (the driver of our BART train called it 'Mini-Me BART'), and the way it was well signed. I think the people mover is pretty cool too, and they've done some nifty things with the South SF, San Bruno, and especially the Millbrae stations. So yeah, BART to SFO isn't quite the boondoggle some of us thought it was. :)
Thirdly, Cal got munched by Utah Thursday night, bringing the Bears to 1-3 with a road trip to Illinois next Saturday, and then back home to face Pac-10 favourite USC. I'll update the score table when I feel like it. Who knows when that'll be.
So, yeah, I have homework to do this weekend (trying to find more bugs to go with the ones folks have suggested to me, thanks for those who have.) Feel like I'm stuck behind the plexiglass again. It's kinda lonely back here, so I don't know what to do. Because it just feels like I'm doing all the reaching out again, and that if I was to quietly slip away, that nobody'd really notice. I know this is *not* *true*, but it looks so tempting...
things like the folks in my writ group, the folks I trust most with my words...I posted something in that group yesterday, and with the exception of one person, nobody said a word. And the folks in that group are probably the folks who come closest to being good friends. but you know, it doesn't matter. maybe I'll never write again.
But must keep the facade up. Must not let anybody know what I think. Mustn't. Because, in all honesty it doesn't really matter.
it doesn't really matter that I'm feeling awfully lonely. and it doesn't matter that I've been having troubles sleeping. it doesn't really matter. it doesn't.
if I say it enough times, I can make it true, right?
And I think it's going to rain today...
called the cops on an asshole tonight. I mean, if you're going to scream up at an apartment, I hope you'd have a broader vocabulary than 'f*ck', 'b*tch','kill', and 'm*th*rf*ck*r'. It's doubly best if you don't spend fifteen minutes screaming 'f*ck you' at the cops when they've got you surrounded. I was impresssed at Oakland PD's response time and the show of overwhelming force (*five* squad cars) helped reassure us they were on it. Granted, apperantly, somebody called in and said he had a gun or something, so...
In other news, Luns is safely off to Toronto, and the untold billions that went into extending BART to San Francisco International were *gasp* actually spent well. Luns, who hates all public transit in the bay area with the lone exception of MUNI, SF's bus/tram/train system (he's a Toronto boy, and is spoiled by the TTC), was greatly impressed with both the BART extension and the people mover (the driver of our BART train called it 'Mini-Me BART'), and the way it was well signed. I think the people mover is pretty cool too, and they've done some nifty things with the South SF, San Bruno, and especially the Millbrae stations. So yeah, BART to SFO isn't quite the boondoggle some of us thought it was. :)
Thirdly, Cal got munched by Utah Thursday night, bringing the Bears to 1-3 with a road trip to Illinois next Saturday, and then back home to face Pac-10 favourite USC. I'll update the score table when I feel like it. Who knows when that'll be.
So, yeah, I have homework to do this weekend (trying to find more bugs to go with the ones folks have suggested to me, thanks for those who have.) Feel like I'm stuck behind the plexiglass again. It's kinda lonely back here, so I don't know what to do. Because it just feels like I'm doing all the reaching out again, and that if I was to quietly slip away, that nobody'd really notice. I know this is *not* *true*, but it looks so tempting...
things like the folks in my writ group, the folks I trust most with my words...I posted something in that group yesterday, and with the exception of one person, nobody said a word. And the folks in that group are probably the folks who come closest to being good friends. but you know, it doesn't matter. maybe I'll never write again.
But must keep the facade up. Must not let anybody know what I think. Mustn't. Because, in all honesty it doesn't really matter.
it doesn't really matter that I'm feeling awfully lonely. and it doesn't matter that I've been having troubles sleeping. it doesn't really matter. it doesn't.
if I say it enough times, I can make it true, right?
And I think it's going to rain today...
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Date: 2003-09-13 05:13 am (UTC)No answers here, just sympathy.
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Date: 2003-09-13 09:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-13 02:29 pm (UTC)You bet it matters.
Date: 2003-09-13 03:03 pm (UTC)...I know I've said in channel before that I can't function on low sleep. Ironically enough, some of my recent sleep trouble was cause by a noisy neighbor, who after I spoke to the building managers have been remarkably good about limiting their noise. It's good to know that people can pay attention sometimes.
The rest of the times... I'm not sure. New place, new bed, new shape of the room causing the echoes and air currents to be just that little bit different. Not remotely noticeable during the day, but at night, when nothing else is distracting one, then perhaps. I suppose once I get used to it things will be better.
When it's really bad, one of the things I like to do is sit up and meditate quietly. Nothing formal, just attempting to clear my thoughts and silence what Buddhism often calls "the chattering monkey brain." It's surprisingly hard to not think verbally, though maybe that's when one is trying not to.
Hope it gets resolved for you soon. Lack of sleep does nasty things to the rest of someone's day, so it's not a small problem. (To put a gaming twist on a serious issue, there's a reason Beleth is a Princess....)