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katsterI have a bad headache, and I'm typing this through this blinding headache, and I really should go to bed, but there's an interesting thought here.
It's always interesting when a person spills vitriol all over another, and then turns around and demands an apology from the person he/she spilt said vitriol all over. Or is hurt because the other person reacted badly to this splashing anger all over the place.
it's interesting when the vitriol slinging person's SO gets cause and effect mixed up. (And as for whether this would be tolerated, well, teachers tell students to 'ignore bullies' all the time, so there's something that's a bit wrong too.)
And while I think the person who got the vitriol spilt all over him isn't completely blameless in the whole matter, and he's already got my reasons, I'll remind the two people of this fact:
All this wouldn't have happened if I hadn't existed. (Because the person forgot because he wasn't reminded, and as to why he needed reminding, well...I was the one in another suicidal depression when this happened. I've said this before. I don't think anybody heard me.) And y'know, despite this, neither the vitriol slinger or his/her SO gave a damn about me then, and they're not giving a damn about me now. It's more and more feeding on me when I'm trying to make a decision about completely and utterly disconnecting from the 'Net anyway.
And there's a few words the Good Lord said about humility and turning the other cheek here, but I'll just stay away from that. I'm not sure it would mean anything to people anyway.
when I've chucked people off my default view for hurting me, I really ought to avoid their journals. Especially when I'm in as crappy of a mood as I am right now.
My apologies to all those who think this seems apperantly random, I'm noodling about a situation I don't want to name names in. One that obviously hurts, and one that I don't think will do any good, and yeah. all of that. But it's a nice bitter disappointment I'm feeling about the whole thing.
It's always interesting when a person spills vitriol all over another, and then turns around and demands an apology from the person he/she spilt said vitriol all over. Or is hurt because the other person reacted badly to this splashing anger all over the place.
it's interesting when the vitriol slinging person's SO gets cause and effect mixed up. (And as for whether this would be tolerated, well, teachers tell students to 'ignore bullies' all the time, so there's something that's a bit wrong too.)
And while I think the person who got the vitriol spilt all over him isn't completely blameless in the whole matter, and he's already got my reasons, I'll remind the two people of this fact:
All this wouldn't have happened if I hadn't existed. (Because the person forgot because he wasn't reminded, and as to why he needed reminding, well...I was the one in another suicidal depression when this happened. I've said this before. I don't think anybody heard me.) And y'know, despite this, neither the vitriol slinger or his/her SO gave a damn about me then, and they're not giving a damn about me now. It's more and more feeding on me when I'm trying to make a decision about completely and utterly disconnecting from the 'Net anyway.
And there's a few words the Good Lord said about humility and turning the other cheek here, but I'll just stay away from that. I'm not sure it would mean anything to people anyway.
when I've chucked people off my default view for hurting me, I really ought to avoid their journals. Especially when I'm in as crappy of a mood as I am right now.
My apologies to all those who think this seems apperantly random, I'm noodling about a situation I don't want to name names in. One that obviously hurts, and one that I don't think will do any good, and yeah. all of that. But it's a nice bitter disappointment I'm feeling about the whole thing.
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Date: 2003-03-28 04:30 am (UTC)please don't leave the net, because I and a bunch of other people would miss you.. and I can not tell how people on the 'net are feeling unless the come out and say it not hint at it... so unlike your words... ryan and I do care that you are hurt, and we both feel realy badly for you.
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Date: 2003-03-28 06:38 am (UTC)I think the lot of you should take the next thirty days away from each other. No contact. No reading each other's journals. Take ten minutes a day to think about the situation, set a timer, whatever, and then move on. In thirty days, you all sit down by appointment and talk it through. This situation started out nasty and isn't getting any better for any of you, and every word that gets said by anyone at this point seems guaranteed to be making someone else angrier. I think you need time to remember that you are all friends, and that you're important to each other. If you weren't important to each other, you wouldn't be trying so hard to make it come out right that you're muddying the waters. Sometimes you just need to stop.
Kat, I hope you won't feel the need to leave. I can tell you right now that you'd leave a hole in more than a few people's lives that we couldn't easily get used to. On the other hand, if you do, we're not going to begrudge you that. Above all else, you need to take care of your own needs. *hugs.*