Forward into the light.

[katster]

So, there I was, poking around LJ, when I found that shadesong had pointed at this entry of haikujaguar’s. (She apparently does them every month, if you’re feeling inclined to watch that journal.) Feeling somewhat like the universe wanted to say something to me, I posted a response that read:

I think I’ll be daring enough. The use will probably be a combination of one and four in your list, because I think I’m approaching a cusp.

And today I got my response. It read:

So there’s this Cell you’ve been in for a while, and it’s a comfortable Cell but as you’ve noticed it’s a little too small for you and… it would be nice to see the sun a while. The kicker is that you went into the Cell because it was safe. At the time, anyway. Now it’s just boring and you figure, “That thing that drove me in here is probably long gone.”

So you pop out of the Cell and right there, staring you in the face is a Murderer: that thing, that person, that situation that was trying to beat you down, smother the growth in you, steal some of the stuff that made life worthwhile.

“WTHBBQ!” you think, “YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE GONE BY NOW.”

Now, I want you to consider the absurdity of this situation. You’ve been safe in here for quite a while, waiting for this Murderer to move on, and you were pretty sure he’d get just as bored as you were after all this time, and yet… he’s still out here. Except you’ve been indoors and he’s been skulking outside and he’s a little underfed and a lot bedraggled and he needs a bath and he looks less scary and more like a scarecrow…

So you say: “BOO!”

And the Murderer goes “!!!” and runs off.

Maybe the Murderer was dangerous back then. But… I think you’re bigger than him now. :)

I have a few ideas, obviously, as to what this might mean. I’d love to hear from friends, though, as to their thoughts, as those often offer clarity to my otherwise jumbled head. (That and my friends are just plain awesome at offering interesting thoughts to ponder.)

Originally published at retstak.org. You can comment here or there.

Comments

[archangelbeth]

Just from what little I can recall from following your journal... I fear my first reaction was... "OMG She's got it pegged, hasn't she??" Now, I could be conflating and confusing something or hopped timelines again! So totally kick me in the shins if I'm wrong!

But... you've been feeling scrunched and trapped for a while, yes? And... there may be a way to get past what was keeping you there? I bet you can.

[whytraven.livejournal.com]

To me it seems to say, "Time to move on. New home, probably."