o/~ manic depression's a frustrating mess o/~

[katster]

It dawns on me. Being that I'll be eight towards the end of the month [that is, eight years since the diagnosis], I've picked up a lot about bipolar and mood disorders over the years, especially as it pertains to me, and I was curious if anybody had any questions about it or about me or how it's been handled, and since that's something that most people aren't necessarily willing to ask about, I figured I'd open up the floor for them.

So if you've got them, here's the thread for them.

Comments

[jcatquince.livejournal.com]

Hey Katster, I'll talk to you on irc about some questions I have. Hope to catch you soon.

Hmm...

[jaeai.livejournal.com]

This is very, very nice, and I'm not sure, but brave should apply, too.

I think it's a little late for me, as my husband and I are getting divorced, but I still would like to understand what happened on this front. He was mis-diagnosed with depression (on purpose, the military sucks), and given many, many anti-depressants. Time released capsules he could never take on time, to drugs he would only try once and never touch again. He was never properly followed, which is a shame, but I did all I could for as long as I could trying to encourage him to find someone to listen.

He'd take his medicine, and go completely manic. From "I hate you, you ruined my career, I hate having kids and never want to see them again..." to "I love you, you're always looking out for me and helping me out, our kids are smart and fun and wonderful..."

There was such a change that near-total strangers could tell when he was on his medication. Then, he'd start eating, smoking more, and getting hopped up on caffinated drinks. Four to five days later, tops, he'd finally confess he hadn't had much sleep, then sleep for 16 or so hours for a couple of days. He'd blame the medication and stop whatever it was cold turkey.

He'd be back to his old self within 2 days. Angry at anything that moved. Angry that he couldn't always do more with his life, material possession-wise. Obsessed with money and where/how to spend it next. He'd finally conclude the cycle with a huge breakdown, screaming, crying, hitting, a shell of a man, broken down. He'd go find his medicine and take it, make another appointment with his counselor, and spend a couple of days apologizing to us.

He gave new meaning to "rapid cycling." The only thing I know about him that ISN'T the disease or the side effects of the meds is his irresponsibility. He hasn't been responsible for himself or any of his actions, ever. His parents, even to this day, give him anything he wants, making it ten times worse. The other thing, which I'm not sure if it is its own demon or what, is the constant lying. He would tell total strangers horrible things about me and the kids, and then keep them from meeting us. When they finally did, they would stop speaking to him. "Dude, your wife is not constantly screaming, she is not beating you. Your kids are well-mannered and polite."
I bore the brunt of that one, I have friends now who still can't understand why I didn't speak up for myself (kids yes, myself, no). I told them the truth, Brett couldn't keep friends because of this constant lying. Most felt sorry for him for a while, but finally ended up leaving. We still have a set of friends that try and talk to him, but he's ruled them the enemy since they won't listen to lies, they just want to hang out.

I finally thought I was going crazy, until he left. I'm a strong person, been through too much already, but I couldn't help anyone that doesn't want to help themselves.

Worst of all? He's already got a new girlfriend that he's doing this to. Her friend came down with him the other day. She asked me, "How did you do it?" I replied with the truth. "Honey, I divorced him. Please warn your friend that he's off his medication and prone to hit." She nodded. I hope she does warn her. No one deserves to live with someone that plays with fire on purpose.

So, having read that shpiel, here are my questions.

1. Are the side effects of the medication so drastic and immediate that it makes it easy to quit?
2. Do bi-polar disorders, on average, tend to go with another, like pathological lying?
3. Is it possible, given current knowledge and research of the disease, to offer just about everyone a solution that they can live with?
4. (If you know), what can family members do to make this disease managable? I know I did the wrong thing, I handled 95% of his responsibility for him. Made my life impossible, and his too easy to skip out on.

Thank you so much for this opportunity, hope I haven't said anything wrong, 'cause I'm good at that.

Anna (Joyce Ann)