Random musings at o dark thirty.
Jan. 19th, 2003 01:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
katsterIt's one AM. another week's over, and I'm dead in the water, but I try not to think about that. I still can't code to save my life, even though I'm doing well otherwise. I've let Zibb go after talking with him for a long time, because I feel happier in his presence than I do in his absence, and his leaving brings a pain of loneliness. It's been that kind of day.
Luns cheers me up, and he's always got something odd going on. Again, it should be much more fun to live with him in the future. I had him over tonight, we watched Chicken Run on Prufrock (my two computers are Prufrock and Macavity. I'm trying to decide what the router should be.) while I sat on Macavity and talked to Zibb too.
You see, I'm paranoiding about my roommate. In the past, I have had bad experiences with people assigned to live with me. I went through three roommates in freshman year, and had my suitemates organize a campaign to kick me out sophomore year with the help of the resident assistant (student assigned to babysit us, and deal with problems as they arise) and the resident director (University staff, basically the boss of the resident assistants.) After that, I lived on halls, and usually at the end of them where I could be a hermit.
And so I'm now living in a two person apartment, after this year's earlier troubles with Kai, and I'm afraid that Jamila doesn't really like me. (Jamila is my new roommate). Whenever I talk to her, I get the impression that she'd really rather not talk to me. She's a neat freak. (I am so not.) I feel awkward in her presence, I feel awkward in the common spaces of the apartment, I feel (because I moved in late) that I got short shrift when it came to cabinets and refrigerator space.
And now there's two people sleeping in the living room, and they didn't even give me as much as a by your leave. :P (I mean, I don't mind people staying over, I just want a "hey, be prepared when you wander out of your bedroom because there are going to be people here." from somebody, y'know? I want to feel somewhat in the loop.)
*sigh* this is bothering me, I freely confess. I've been holing up in my room because I can't deal with it, and I'm not sure what to do now, except hold out and hope that they'll let me out of my contract in May.
But when I'm standing in the hallway between my room and the bathroom, staring out at the flickering light of the television across the walls of the living room, it's a time like this that I wish i was anywhere but here, and I find that I am missing Patrick even more.
What is yours?
Does it fit?
Luns cheers me up, and he's always got something odd going on. Again, it should be much more fun to live with him in the future. I had him over tonight, we watched Chicken Run on Prufrock (my two computers are Prufrock and Macavity. I'm trying to decide what the router should be.) while I sat on Macavity and talked to Zibb too.
You see, I'm paranoiding about my roommate. In the past, I have had bad experiences with people assigned to live with me. I went through three roommates in freshman year, and had my suitemates organize a campaign to kick me out sophomore year with the help of the resident assistant (student assigned to babysit us, and deal with problems as they arise) and the resident director (University staff, basically the boss of the resident assistants.) After that, I lived on halls, and usually at the end of them where I could be a hermit.
And so I'm now living in a two person apartment, after this year's earlier troubles with Kai, and I'm afraid that Jamila doesn't really like me. (Jamila is my new roommate). Whenever I talk to her, I get the impression that she'd really rather not talk to me. She's a neat freak. (I am so not.) I feel awkward in her presence, I feel awkward in the common spaces of the apartment, I feel (because I moved in late) that I got short shrift when it came to cabinets and refrigerator space.
And now there's two people sleeping in the living room, and they didn't even give me as much as a by your leave. :P (I mean, I don't mind people staying over, I just want a "hey, be prepared when you wander out of your bedroom because there are going to be people here." from somebody, y'know? I want to feel somewhat in the loop.)
*sigh* this is bothering me, I freely confess. I've been holing up in my room because I can't deal with it, and I'm not sure what to do now, except hold out and hope that they'll let me out of my contract in May.
But when I'm standing in the hallway between my room and the bathroom, staring out at the flickering light of the television across the walls of the living room, it's a time like this that I wish i was anywhere but here, and I find that I am missing Patrick even more.
| Your score is 29 what does that mean? |
Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding;someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out. |
Does it fit?
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Res assistant conspiracy?
Date: 2003-01-19 01:27 am (UTC)When I was a res assistant last year, we were encouraged never ever to take sides. (Or have favourites, but that's harder. Some people you just like more than others.)
K.
Re: Res assistant conspiracy?
Date: 2003-01-19 01:34 am (UTC)It turns out he was talking about having me committed to the nearest looney bin.
It didn't help that semester was the one I was diagnosed bipolar, after going completely manic on the anti-depressant they gave me. That semester was the Semester from Hell in more ways than one.
And my roommates weren't helping either. They admitted to spying on my phone calls and in general doing a lot of crappy things that made me feel unwelcome. Of course Berkeley is stupid, and puts a single (one person in the room) and a triple (three people in the room) in one suite and expects everybody to get along. Disaster ensues.
Yeah, it's no wonder I'm paranoid. :P
-kat
no subject
Date: 2003-01-19 06:25 am (UTC)Re: Res assistant conspiracy?
Date: 2003-01-19 04:17 pm (UTC)I used to get the other end of the stick. Three times was I asked to room with another person "because no one else will live with her". I got along OK with all three, and one became a close friend. What was strange about this was that I was loathed by most of my classmates, all through elementary school and most of jr/sr high. I don't know when I developed social skills. Maybe having one's nose in a book all day and half the night is a social skill.
But it's not that long till May. I'd say, if the "total strangers in living room" thing happens again, you should say something. If not, let it ride. The Kai thing was intolerable and unhealthy, and I was relieved and proud of you when you got out of it. This probably is just the world not fitting quite right.