forbidden words

*grumble* I ... dammit, I hate my psych instructor.

She gave us this assignment on Monday, and I'm loathe to repeat it, but I know I feel better when I don't think about it. But it explains the weird comment in one of my monday pages. Anyway, I'm not allowed to use the words:

I should...
I ought...
I have to...
I need to...
If I don't do x, y will happen.

Yeah, it's a way to build up unreal expectations and I'm guilty as charged. But not using the words at all means that I'm failed to be motivated. They're the stick to the carrot of choice. Because if I had my way, I'd never do anything without the proper motivation. But enough of my psych class ranting, I choose to write up my damn index cards for my damn math test because I want to get a good grade!

fiddling with words.

i stand on the threshold.
i want to come in

i can't come in
because the last time we talked
you made me cry
because i'd made you cry

and you were angry with me
for the words i'd said
which only succeeded
in making me cry harder

because I hate pain
hate to cause pain
hate to have pain

so now i stand
on the threshold
wondering
if i'm wanted
anymore

knock knock

[Of course, now, I've got that timeless classic "I hear you knockin' but you can't come in" running through my head. More on stuff like math test latah.]